Summertime
by maybethedreamisdreamingus
Summary: In the immortal words of a Gershwin song: I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie, all the day and night hear me sigh ... It's the summer holidays. Sirius has a drinking problem. Ginny has a crush.
1. Softly as in a Morning Sunrise

Disclaimer: I own nothing. JK rules all the universe.

A/N: Set at the beginning of OotP, starts just before Harry arrives at Grimmauld Place. Pairings could end up anywhere I don't really know yet all I know is that Ginny has a crush on someone sirius-ly out of her league (oh I know, one of the stupidest ways imaginable of using one of the most cleshe'd jokes known to hp fanfiction but I couldn't resist) and also that I have a slight obsession with jazz music at the moment, hence the title of the fic and all the chapter titles.  And hey who knows, I might actually update this one. Especially if I get some encouragement hint-hint-nudge-nudge-say-no-more-say-no-more.

Rating: A light M just for naughty words.

Summertime

Chapter One: Softly As In A Morning Sunrise

Ginny's opinion on her own appearance varied significantly from day to day. In her own eyes she was either a red-headed beauty from a windswept romance novel or a red-headed disaster. Today she was in a good mood though, and she happily admired the effect of a strategically placed junk jewellery bracelet against her jeans and black t-shirt. Black high heels to match. Definitely. And red lipstick to coincide with the red bracelet, a dab more mascara … just perfect.

"Where are you going Ginny?"

Ginny regarded Hermione with a quizzical look "…nowhere. What do you mean where am I going?" Hermione had come in to wake Ginny up to find her already applying the finishing touches to her make-up "You look like you're getting ready to go out" she explained. Ginny shrugged "no. Just felt like putting a bit of lippy on is all"

"You know Harry isn't coming for a few days yet right?"

"And you know I'm totally over that"

"Just checking" Hermione teased "so who are you dressing to impress? I mean, it can't be Kreacher." Ginny put her hand to her heart with a dramatic sigh "oh how did you know? I thought I had hid it better, but I suppose such flaming passion cannot be kept secret for long. I admit it! I'm in love the house elf!" and she threw herself in mock-feint upon the bed. Hermione was unfazed by Ginny's melodramatic antics and began out of the room "well are you coming to breakfast?"

"Yeah a'right, don't get ye' knickers in a twist. Just let me put on my shoes."

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A noise pierced the solid dark of sleep, pulling Sirius into a confused semi-wakeful state. Someone was banging on the inside of his skull. Why would they do that? He took a moment to assemble the world around him, and he quickly realised the physical impossibility of someone touching the _inside _of his skull. And in a moment he had separated the sensation of his brain seemingly throwing itself repeatedly against the cage of his skull and the sound of someone knocking on his bedroom "In Merlin's name what the bloody hell do you want!?" he yelled at the offender, the door opened and Remus Lupin walked in "Padfoot my dear man you real should learn some manners one day"

"Thanks for the advice, I shall take it to dearest heart."

"And I just wanted to tell you that Molly's cooked breakfast."

"Ugh food" the concept of eating just did not appeal to Sirius at that particular moment in time "Damn you Moony. You and your uncanny ability to drink"

"Well lycanthropy has got to have some perks right?"

"How does lycanthropy take away hangovers?"

"All round tougher body. It's got to be to withstand transformations, and it comes in handy to drink you under the table too. But we've had this conversation before."

"Yes and I believe that last time my reaction was the same as it is this. Not fucking fair."

He was going to continue to explain to his fellow marauder all the evils of the world and how he, Sirius Black, was the target of most of them (the ministry for a start), but Remus had already disappeared again. He rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants. He'd better give an appearance at breakfast or Molly might begin to get all _concerned _again. He stumbled out of his room and headed for the bathroom, meeting Ginny and Hermione on their way downstairs.

"Morning Sirius" Hermione said in a voice that was far too bright for this time in the morning, he mumbled an indistinct greeting back. Ginny however seemed taken aback by his sudden appearance and stared blankly at him for a moment, before apparently kicking back into gear and smiling at him "You don't seem so good this morning, not sick are you?"

"I seem sick?"

"Well something in the way you winced when Hermione said good morning seemed to imply you ain't feeling your best" she said with a little grin "that, my dear girl" said Sirius "is known as a hangover" and with that he walked past them into the bathroom.

"He had no shirt on" stated Ginny. Hermione raised her eyebrows "…this is true" she said "and your point is?"

"Oh come on like you didn't notice too"

"That he had no shirt on?"

"And that he looks _good _with no shirt on!"

Hermione just rolled her eyes "honestly, Ginny."

"What?"

"Nothing."

On the other side of the door Sirius could hear the two girls' chatter quite clearly, and he grinned at himself in the bathroom mirror. _Damn, it's been a while since I've been the subject of schoolgirl chatter. _It almost made him feel like a marauder again, back then he and James had been quite the talk of the school. And they knew it too, perhaps sometimes Sirius had known it a bit too much, but then they could afford to be cocky as hell back then. _Ah, why waste your time dwelling on the memories. In the end it always just reminds you of how much everything went wrong. And then you end up with another hangover._ He chucked water over his face, he thought perhaps it would clear his head. It didn't. But never mind, the bathroom cabinet held much better hangover solutions surely … there it was, his own homebrew hangover cure, he and James were never that interested in potions, but this particular one they had perfected. He took a swig from the blue glass bottle and instantly felt the pounding in his head recede to a dull ache. It'd be gone in a couple of minutes. Worked every time that potion did, he'd have to teach it to Harry at some point, he'd soon be getting old enough to need to use it. He was starting fifth year this year after all._ Well I could try and teach him all the wisdom my years of experience have given me instead, but somehow I doubt that the life-advice of a convict is going to help the boy who has to save the world very much. So a hangover cure is the next best alternative._

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"But really Hermione, are you saying he isn't hot?"

"I'm saying he's old enough to be your dad, Ginny, and I don't even begin to understand why you would even look at him that way"

"Well because my dear, he's rather nice to look at – ow!" Ginny threw the little silver box that had bitten her across the room, it scuttled away on its tiny ornate legs to hide behind the thick velvet curtains at the end of the hall "careful!" warned Ron "it'll get away!"

Tonks, who had just walked in from the kitchen, cast an immobilisation charm on the object and brought it back to sit on the shelf again with another flick of her wand "who's nice to look at?" she asked cheerfully. Ginny wondered whether Tonks could be trusted not to laugh at her if she said – or worse – tell Sirius they'd been talking about him.

"Come on" whined Tonks "I want in on the gossip"

"Oh, it's no one" Ginny covered. _Probably not worth the risk. _

"Well let me see. Someone considerably older then you. Or so I deduce from Hermione's comments. A teacher?"

"No"

Tonks was obviously enjoying this guessing game "ooh! I know, an ex-teacher, Remus!"

"No! Are you kidding me?"

"I'd say fairly fanciable"

"Oh would you?" Ginny gave Tonks a Meaningful Raised Eyebrow Look, which Tonks batted away "this is guess Ginny's crush not guess Tonks's crush, don't try to change the subject!"

"Can we play guess Tonks's crush later then?"

"If you tell me who's been catching your eye sure"

"Fine … it's…" Ginny let the rest of her sentence die away into an incomprehensible murmer. Tonks wasn't going to give up that easily however, she threatened Ginny with a small but viciously hissing glass snake "Spit it out properly or I'll let the snake loose!"

"I was talking about your bloody cousin if you must know! Just immobilise the snake!"

Tonks complied and put the now lifeless ornament into the box they were filling with dangerous and suspicious things from the hall cabinet before clapping her hands with glee and giving a childish "oooh! Ginny likes Sirius!"

"I just said he's hot that's all! Now you. Lupin. Tell."

"Nothing to tell"

"Oh, whatever!"

"You know I've just remembered I have somewhere very important to be. Can't say where, top secret Auror stuff y'know" Tonks backed quickly out of the door, closing it just as Ginny yelled "You better tell me when you get back!"


	2. In the Still of the Night

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue. A'right?

A/N: Haha a second chapter begun within a day of putting up the first. Proud of me? I am! Eternal love to reviewers **LilyInTheValley**and **GinnyRiddle53**.

BTW: does anyone know what James Potter did for a living? I just said he was an Auror 'cause everyone loves to think of Harry's dad as an Auror. Or Harry as an Auror. Or any other character as an Auror. And I'm not imaginative enough to think up anything more obscure, and it's fairly irrelevant anyway so I figured it doesn't really matter.

Summertime

Chapter Two: In the Still of the Night

_This room may drive me mad. _It almost had. His childhood bedroom that he had spent most his young life hiding from his family in, who would have thought he'd spend so much time hiding here again, twenty-something years later. _Of course, if a place could drive me mad I doubt I'd have survived those particular twelve years of my life with my sanity still intact … though come to think about it maybe I shouldn't be so sure of my sanity. I appear to be talking to myself. In my head. Is that better or worse then out loud? Well asking oneself questions is definitely worse anyway. _The clock on the wall informed him that it was approaching three A.M. now and that Sirius should really be getting to sleep. He told it to fuck off or he might just forget to wind it up it the future. It didn't say anything more but Sirius could've sworn it was glaring at him. Not that it could glare. As it didn't have a face. Apart from a clock-face that is. _Oh for gods sake stop this idiotic rambling you twat. _

That was it, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling would indeed guarantee him admittance to St. Mungos psychiatric ward. He got up and left his room, creping through the sleeping household down to the kitchen. _Something to help me sleep, that's what I need. Something to help me sleep _dreamlessly. _No doubt there's many a potion one can concoct for that purpose, but I must say that the most effective involves neither phoenix tears nor eye of newt. Nope, the most effective one involves a glass- _he grabbed one from the cupboard _–and a bottle of firewhisky. _He opened the liquor cabinet with a flick of his wand (it had been charmed to insure the Weasley twins couldn't get into it) and pulled out said bottle. He sat down at the kitchen table and poured some into the glass, considered it, and then poured slightly more into the glass.

He had gone to bed two hours earlier and fallen asleep quickly and easily after spending most of that day trying to take paintings off the walls, much to the disgust of the inhabitants of those paintings. They ran into each others frames to avoid being taken down and shouted abuse at him as he tried every charm he could this of to get the canvases down from the walls they had magically attached to with spells of various strength depending on how well liked – or how rich – the person in the portrait was. The one of Bellatrix was stuck on so tightly Sirius ended up having to set it on fire to get rid of it. Well maybe he didn't _have _to set it on fire, but it was the easiest way of getting rid of her sulky pout looking down on him. And the portraits comments on 'that half-breed brat masquerading as some kind of hero' had sealed her fate.

Ginny's complimentary comments that morning had led Sirius to be thinking about the Marauders a lot that day, so it was no surprise really, that when he collapsed into bed his sleeping mind wandered back twenty years. To when they were still fresh from Hogwarts and full of hope for the future, not even a war had managed to dampen their firm belief that their lives were going to be perfect, they were all going to get good jobs and be wealthy, and get married and be happy. There was no question of that, and James getting married and getting a job as an Auror cemented their belief that nothing could ever go wrong for them.

It wasn't an unusual dream for Sirius to have, in fact it was becoming almost as familiar as the tedious days stuck inside this god-forsaken black hole of a house, if one may excuse the pun. It began with a Christmas eve party at James's apartment. James and Lily were only dating then, not that it excused what Sirius did, they all knew it was more then just a few casual dates, however much Lily insisted she was only giving James a trial run, they all knew she was finally his.

Perhaps then it was a guilty conscience that kept these dreams returning to him. Starting with an innocent kiss under the mistletoe, and of course Sirius flirted with her, but Sirius flirted with everyone, and it was really only to watch James grow more and more annoyed at him. Mostly just for that, just a little bit because he enjoyed watching Lily try to give him her best ex-prefect-glare, and fail miserably at it by giggling, despite her best efforts to be not the least bit amused by Sirius's childish humor.

He swallowed the whisky down in one go and smacked the glass down on the table, a little harder then intended, the resultingbang ricocheted off the kitchen walls. _Damn Lily, still manages to drive me mad even after death. _He poured another whisky. Lily could drive anyone mad though, not just him. James wasn't her only admirer at Hogwarts, that was why she had fended him off for so long, she didn't take him any more seriously then any off the others. She was pretty, more then pretty, she was beautiful. And pretty much every boy in the school thought so, so it wasn't surprising it took her a while to realise James thought so a little bit more then all the rest. And that's why it wasn't surprising that Sirius never really noticed his attraction to her was anything more then any other crush. Sirius liked a lot of women, Lily was liked by a lot of men. He always just thought that was all there was to it, and therefore ignored it. _Perhaps I should have noticed something about how hard it was to ignore her. Then maybe I wouldn't have been so careless as to kiss her beneath the mistletoe. _That kiss had started the affair. The affair had lasted until she married James. During those months Sirius had often asked himself what the fuck he thought he was doing. And the answer was always the same; he wasn't thinking. He couldn't when she was there. _That was always the excuse. Doesn't make you any less of a bastard. It was outright betrayal of your closest friend and there's nothing more to it. You could've stopped it if you wanted to, you just didn't want to. _He swigged down the second glass, and poured a third. _Maybe that's what it was then, cosmic fucking payback. I never got found out for the one betrayal, so I got accused of another one instead. Twelve years in Azkaban and then the rest of my life in this prison as penance for fucking my best mate's fiancé. Sounds fair enough. _He swallowed the third glass and poured a fourth, carrying on this way until he fell asleep at the kitchen table.

Remus found him there when he came in from guard duty, Sirius passed out cold on the table with a near-empty bottle of firewhisky and he didn't really have to ask why. Sirius had been doing this a lot lately. Remus replaced the cap on the firewhisky and locked it back up in the liquor cabinet. He considered charming the cabinet so Sirius couldn't get into it either, but that probably wasn't the best way to deal with the situation, and anyway, if Sirius felt the need to drink himself into oblivion day after day, who was he to judge. He'd probably do the same thing if he was stuck in this place all the time. He knew from experience that it was useless trying to wake Sirius up from a drunken blackout, so instead grabbed his friend's arm an apparated him up to his bedroom, catching him upon arrival before he fell to the polished wood floor. Remus tipped the drunken lump that was Sirius onto his bed, and looked at him for a moment, wondering if he should feel angry at his friend for letting himself fall into this depression, or pity him for it.

"Why am I always keeping you out of trouble, Padfoot?"

The sleeping man gave him no answer. He didn't when he was awake anyway so it made no difference. Remus left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

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Hedwig arrived as they were watching Lupin try and take the protective charms off the door at the end of the hall, no one knew what was behind the door and they didn't want to open it until Moody could tell them whether it housed anything that was likely to remove their limbs or the suchlike, but since he was coming for dinner that evening, Lupin had decided to get the charms off in advance. It proved to be quite entertaining for those watching, as every so often a spell he cast would cause the door to shoot sparks, growl at him, or somehow turn him purple. They didn't hear the tapping on the window at first, as the door was hissing like a feral cat, but a particularly violent _tappity tap tap! _Caused Hermione to look up and see the white owl knocking at the window like a woodpecker. She opened the window and Hedwig perched on the sill, allowing her to untie the three letters, one with her name, one with Ron's and the last addressed to Sirius. She passed Ron his and put Sirius's aside to give to him when he finally appeared today. One of Lupin's spells caused the door to set alight with pink flames as Hermione and Ron opened their letters. Both said the same thing; '_I've just been attacked by Dementors and I might be expelled from Hogwarts. I want to know what's going on and when I'm going to get out of here.' _Ron grabbed Sirius's letter to see if it bore the same message, Hermione just stared in shock.

"What? What is it?" asked Ginny, seeing their horrified faces. Hermione looked at her mutely and Ron passed her one of the letters. She took a moment to read it, and understand it "Oh my god" was all she said. Lupin looked up from trying to control the pink blaze "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Harry's been attacked" Ginny told him

"What!?"

Tonks and Moody burst through the front door, causing Mrs Black's portrait at the other end of the hall to start up fuss "MUDBLOODS BEFOULING MY PROUD HOUSE…"

"Remus, grab your broom, we've gotta go" Tonks yelled over the racket

"What happened?"

"Dementors" said Moody "Kingsley, Emmeline and Hestia are waiting outside already, and Sturgis, Elphias and Dedalus are meeting us in the air. Nymphadora will brief you as we fly."

Lupin had summoned his broom to him as Moody had been talking and it zipped down the stairs to him now and into his waiting hand, with that he followed Tonks and Moody out the door, leaving Hermione, Ginny and Ron behind to battle with the portrait curtains and wonder what the hell had just happened.

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Remus flew just behind Tonks, watching as she grew her spiky violet hair long, so that it rippled in the wind. Funny how she could always find a way to enjoy herself. He sped up so that he was flying alongside her "So you're going to brief me?" Tonks giggled "Only if you want me to, Remus" she said with a wicked grin. Remus just stared at her "How do you manage to give that sentence sexual innuendo?" he asked incredulously. She shrugged "Pretty much anything anyone says can be given innuendo if you say it with the right tone of voice" however anxious Remus was about Harry, he couldn't not crack a grin at that. But he quickly regained a more business like composure "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" he said, and Tonks clicked back into a more serious manner "We're going to Harry's Aunt and Uncle's house to pick him up and bring him back to headquarters"

"He's okay then?"

"Fine. He managed to conjure a patronus and get rid of the dementors." Remus had smiled when she told him that, but Tonks didn't notice and continued on "He's fine but it's too dangerous for him to stay there, we need him where we can keep an eye on him"

"We already were keeping an eye on him! How can he have ended up in so much danger!?"

"Mundungus was on watch"

"Bloody Mundungus. What did he do this time? Get too busy selling mind-altering potions to children in the park?"

"Something about a batch of cauldrons that fell off a back of broom… Dumbledore is not happy with him I can tell you that."

"Fell off, I'm sure … And Dumbledore's not the only one out to get him. Wait until Sirius hears about this, then he's really in trouble. I've got half a mind to curse him into next week myself, more then half in fact… What's so funny?" Tonks was smiling at him.

"Nothings funny" she said "It's just sweet, how protective you all are of that boy."

"Oh"

"We're here"

* * *

Clicky the button? You know you love me really. 


	3. Mr Piano Man

Disclaimer: The fabulous Ms. Rowling owns all the characters I have herein pilfered and perverted to my own means, and half of the plotlines as well (it all fits in with OotP storylines).

A/N: Well this is chapter three already (yes I know that chapters one and two were both relatively miniscule but that's just the way we do things round here) and I haven't given up on or forgotten about this lil' fic yet. So that's something, eh? Also: fabulousness beyond belief! I have come up with a way to make the jazz music thing actually relevant to the fic! Snaps for Hannah!

Ah also, just noticed how much a screwed up the time-set in the last chapter. I seemed to of magically erased three days of Harry's life… oops, oh well, I won't tell if you don't.

Finally, thanks to reviewers **Fire and Ice 4ever, ****FaWkeZ **and (again) **GinnyRiddle53**. This chapter is especially for you. :P

Summertime

Chapter Three: Mr. Piano Man

Sirius had awoken to find himself fully clothed and lying on his bed. It was not an uncommon phenomenon for Sirius to simply not be bothered undressing for bed, but the thing was, that he didn't recall ever going to bed. _But then again, that's not so terribly uncommon either. _He attempted to move, but his aching head reprimanded him severely for trying to lift it from the pillow, so he gave up and closed his eyes again. _Why bother getting up anyway? One doesn't have to admit one's existence if one stays in bed. _And with that reasoning he had lain in bed for the entire day, listening to the movements in the house around him and falling in and out of sleep every now and again with a spate of dreams, strange ones mostly where people and places shifted and changed constantly, though he did not notice the unusual behaviour of his surroundings until he woke. Whilst he slept he just accepted this constant transience as the way of things and barely noticed when his mind flitted from Grimmauld Place to Hogwarts grounds to Diagon Alley to a little bookstore in muggle London and back to his childhood bedroom once more. But there was dream that was solid and definite. Not a dream really, but a memory his subconscious had mockingly decided to submerse him in. It began in the flat he had lived in when he left school in the middle of a burning hot summer, he was twiddling nervously with his hair, combing his fringe through his fingers to make it neat, and then sweeping the black hair out of his face when it fell over his eyes and repeating the action in a vaguely compulsive manner. A light knock sounded on the door and Sirius leapt up from the couch and strode over to the door. Lily stood on the steps in jeans and a plain black top, red hair curling opulently over her small shoulders and bright lipstick bursting dramatically out on her fair-skinned face.

"You're late" he told her, leaning idly against the doorframe in an effort to look relaxed in the boiling sun, as if the sound of his own heartbeats weren't the loudest thing he'd ever heard. A small smile broke her frozen visage "How terrible of me," she said "did I have you worried?" there was a light sarcasm overlaying her words, but it was not irritated, just ever so slightly mocking. He smiled easily, all nervous thoughts of guilt now left behind in the realms of reality. He pushed the door fully open and stood aside as she strolled into the tiny apartment; she went into the kitchen and took a pair of glasses from the cabinet before peering into the fridge.

"There's a good Merlot on the top shelf" he told her. She took it out and passed the bottle over to him and pulled herself up to perch on the kitchen bench whilst he excavated through the drawer to find a corkscrew "So I here Remus has gotten a job with the ministry" she said. Sirius mumbled some kind of affirmation as he pulled the elusive corkscrew out of the very back of the drawer and Lily continued "I just wonder how long it'll last before…"

"Before the bastards chuck him out because of antiquated superstitions?"

"Exactly."

Sirius shrugged and pulled the cork from the Merlot bottle "I guess it all just depends how smart the people he's working for are. And given that he's working for the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, well he's probably good for while."

Lily laughed and agreed, holding out her glass to be filled "That's true, the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee have never been known for their brilliance."

"Quite. I do think that in fact the only thing they've ever been known for was that particular catastrophe at the Tate."

"Oh god, yes! I'd forgotten about that! What did they try to tell the muggles it was? A video installation wasn't it?"

"Yes, and when none of the muggles believed them, they had to perform a bracket obliviation spell on every muggle in London."

"Well then, I propose a toast!" she raised her glass in the air "To the intense stupidity of the MWEC, whose astounded ineptitude will hopefully keep our dear friend in work for years to come!" they knocked their glasses together and Sirius downed the red wine in one go, not one to be shown up, especially not by Sirius, Lily followed suit. He gave her a devilish grin as she placed her glass delicately back onto the bench "Another, my dear?" he asked. Returning his demonic smile, Lily shook her head "No, I've got a much better idea." She took the bottle and glass out of his hands and set them down on the bench also. Then she took his hand and pulled him towards her.

"I think I like this idea." He said. And she shushed him quickly with a kiss, wrapping her legs around his waist, and Sirius awoke from his dream.

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He gazed up at the ceiling above his bed, turning the memory over in his mind. It had been the following winter that Lily had gotten pregnant and therefore gotten hastily engaged. At one point Sirius had almost believed that she wouldn't have married James if it hadn't been for Harry. But no, it was always going to happen, the pregnancy just sped things along a little. Sirius had just been a little sideshow for her; because she was going to marry the first boy she ever kissed and was too scared to marry the only boy she ever kissed. And at other times he tried to convince himself that he was just as un-invested as she was. He was just playing around, it made him feel worse then ever about doing it, but better about the fact that it had to stop. But retrospect is a wonderful thing; a Sirius now knew neither was true, because if his attraction to Lily had been a purely physical thing, then why did little things make his heart stop? Like her laugh or the way she would peer at him from under her eyelashes when she thought he was saying something particularly stupid. Why, if all he wanted was her body, did he love talking to her, loved the little witty comments she would drop into conversations or strange observations about the people around her? Why did he love that the first thing she did one of those mornings was put on a record and make him dance around the room with her, even though he was still half asleep?

She had woken him from his sleep by prodding his shoulder, and when he opened his eyes she confronted him with a Gershwin record "Sirius, if you're pure blood, why do have muggle jazz records?"

"To annoy my mother."

She gave him a look, as if she thought he might be going mad, but curiously didn't question him. Instead she crossed the floor to the muggle record player on the floor in the corner of the room and pulled the record out of its cardboard casing. Carefully she placed the needle on the edge of the record and watched it begin to spin. Violins spilled out of the speaker and the mellow voice of the singer filled the icy winter morning. _Summertime … and the livin' is easy… _She walked back over to him and pulled him out of bed, ignoring his disgruntled mutterings _fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high… _and took his hands, leading him barefoot around the frozen bare wood floors _oh, you're daddy's rich, and you're ma is good lookin' … _he twirled her round and her red hair flew out around her face like a burning July sun. _So hush, little baby, don't you cry…_

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Later that evening a sound pulled Sirius roughly from his quiet dream-space, his mother's voice crying her hatred for the world through the grave via that accursed portrait in the hall, the words "_Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness!" _Pierced through the house, his eyes snapped open and he stared about him for a moment, as if searching for the perpetrator _"Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place!" _echoed up from the hallway below, and Sirius simply couldn't stand to hear her voice any more, giving voice to all the disappointment he was for himself with her disappointment – hatred – of him. By the time she got to 'freaks' he was already flying down the stairs. He threw open the door before him into the chaos of the hallway and charged at the portrait, yelling like a madman, indeed, he was now positively embracing his growing insanity. Her howling came like a thousand needles raining into his mind _"Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!" _

He screamed at her with his throat running ragged, and desperately tore at the silencing curtains that would mute her – just – as soon – as he – could – get them – to shut! Vaguely aware of Moony tugging at the other velvet drape, he managed to pull his side closed, and Remus did the same. The quiet that followed came as a shock. He was suddenly aware of everyone else in the hallway looking at him like he'd gone quite mad. Which was fair enough. So, accepting that, he turned to greet his godson.

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The next day they opened they door that Remus had gone to such pains to unlock, after Moody's assurances that there 'appeared to be no obvious signs of danger – though dark magic could be hiding in the slyest of places so they would probably wise to go in with wands ready'. Much to everyone's surprise, the room contained no more portraits of Black family ancestors, no more curious artefacts or ornaments. The room simply contained a piano. A dust painted, black-lacquered baby-grand. Remus walked over to it and made a small and fruitless attempt to wipe some of the dust off of the black leather of the piano stool and sat down, resting his hands over the ivory keys.

"You play?" asked Tonks, with interest, but Lupin shook his head "not really. Sirius tried to teach me at one point, but I never learnt more then a couple of simple songs."

The others in the room, Harry, Hermione, Ginny and Ron, all crowded closer to the instrument. "Well go on then," said Ron "what can you play?"

Remus looked uncertainly at the keys "I warn you, I'm not any good."

"Try anyway" demanded Tonks, with a grin. He began to play what seemed to be some old jazz tune, but faltering fingersteps and misremembered notes disrupted the tune so it was hard to tell. He stopped with a sigh "Told you so. Can't remember a thing. You need to get Sirius in here, he's the one who can actually play the damn thing."

"Probably not anymore, it's been a long time since I've had any practice." They all jumped, no one had notice Sirius enter the room, Lupin smiled at him "You won't get out of it that easy, Padfoot," he told him "I tried, so you definitely have to."

"I don't think so."

"Please, Siri'!" begged Tonks.

"Maybe some other time," he told her "anyway, Molly sent me to tell you there's sandwiches in the kitchen if you want them."

Harry and Ron left the room in a flash, quickly followed by Tonks, who gave her companions a slightly foolish smile before following the two teenagers out of the room. Hermione rolled her eyes and she and Ginny followed them, but before going into the kitchen Ginny excused herself and deviated off the bathroom instead.

Lupin stood up and waited in the doorway as Sirius contemplated the piano. "You coming?" he asked, after a while. But Sirius shook his head "you get some lunch, Moony. I'll be there in a minute." Remus gave his old companion a cautious look, which Sirius brushed away "I'll be there in a minute. Honestly Remus, you're as bad as Molly sometimes."

"I just don't understand why, when you complain about rattling around this big old house on your own, you would choose to avoid everyone when the place is full of noise and kids."

Sirius gave his barking laugh "Moony, my dear friend, if I wanted noise and kids I would've married my high school sweetheart like James did."

"Which one?" asked Remus, with a grin. Sirius didn't answer, but his smile faded a little into wistfulness.

"Well then," Remus announced "if you refuse to be sociable, I'll just have to go find other friends."

"Perhaps the lovely Nymphadora will appreciate your company?"

"Don't mock, Sirius."

"I wasn't! I'm of the firm opinion that it'll do you a world of good to get laid."

"Sirius!"

"What?"

"You know damn well that that's out of line."

"I never was very good at keeping in line though."

"Fair point."

And with that Lupin strolled of to the kitchen in search, in spite of himself, of the aforementioned lovely Nymphadora.

Sirius wiped some of the dust off the lid of the baby grand, his own pale features frowned at him out of the dark lacquer and gave him a shock. He always felt shocked when he saw his reflection these days, the twelve years in Azkaban had pulled all the colour from his skin and drawn back his skin until it seemed like canvas stretched over a misshapen wooden frame, pinpricks of grey eyes staring out from deeply sunken sockets. Molly's care over the past few weeks had rebuilt some of the flesh around his bones, so he no longer looked as though he was simply a skeleton dressed in paper skin, but the colour, it seemed, would never quite return. He opened the top of the piano stool, inside was all the yellowing sheet music, exactly as he'd left it twenty-two years ago. He rifled carefully through the pile, disturbing clouds of dust in the process, and pulled out the piece he was looking for. The tune that Lily had danced to on a frigid morning in November, just before she'd gotten knocked up and quickly engaged.

He placed the music in front of him on the piano and sat down, spreading his long and pale fingers over the black and white keys. He started slowly at first, remembering his way through the forest of quavers and crotchets, but quickly settling into the right rhythm, slow and swung, as his fingers recalled how to step idly from note to note, spilling luscious jazz chords from the long disused piano, only slightly skewed by strings gone out of tune in the years of abandonment. And as he played he forgot. He forgot that he was thirty-eight and back trapped in his childhood home, forgot that this was the one place he hated almost as much as Azkaban. Forgot that time and fate had not been kind to him and the people he loved. Golden notes filled the room and he was away, into the dreams of when he was young and the world was everything that it should be.

On her way back from the bathroom, Ginny stopped at the door to the now unlocked room, Sirius didn't notice her stop in the doorway, and she wasn't surprised. He seemed like he wouldn't notice much else at the moment, rather, he seemed enraptured in the notes falling from his fingertips, eyes staring intently at nothing and black hair falling over his face. And for a moment, so was she enraptured, watching as he fluidly lifted one hand to flick over the page of music without a pause in the mellow and warm notes. The song came slowly to an end, and the final note hung vibrating in the air. Sirius didn't move as the sound slowly died, Ginny fled before he noticed she was there.

* * *

I know, likelihood of a piano left untouched for twenty-two years to still be in tune, completely stupid yes. But this is romance, the genre is unrealistic by definition. :P

Review because you love me???


	4. Teardrops from my Eyes

Disclaimer: Don't own, so leave me alone. Also, am listening to Rage Against the Machine as we speak, so I blame this chapter on that band.

A/N: Four chapters and I haven't started to despise it yet, promising, very promising.

Thanks to reviewers **Pottergurl62442 **(yes! A spell for ever-lasting tuning! Why didn't I think of that?), **A Nonny Mouse **(I assure you that Harry's paternity will not budge an inch from canon, what with JK putting so much emphasis all the time on how much he looks like James, it's just toooooo far-fetched, and besides, I'm rather fond of canon.), **Nyra II**,** Jessie**, **Werewolves Rock**and **GinnyRiddle53**(glad to know your still with me, sorry this one has taken so long, but my updating skills don't seem to be getting any better I'm afraid…).

Summertime

Chapter Four: Teardrops from my Eyes

It was yet another big dinner at Grimmauld Place. Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, Fleur and Bill had all joined them for Sunday roast and so the chatter in the room had reached a point at which anyone outside may have thought there was a full-scale riot taking place inside the old and crumbling house. The only person missing was Sirius who had taken refuge away from the noise in his bedroom with his old record player, though Lupin, as he had told Molly, would go up there and drag him by the feet down the stairs if he didn't come soon of his own accord.

"An elephant's trunk!" shouted Ginny "Tonks, do one like an elephant's trunk!" Tonks shook her brightly coloured head and screwed up her face in disgust "Ew, no!"  
"Pleaaaaaaaase!"  
"Would you want me to make _your _nose into an elephant's trunk?"  
"Can you do that? Change other people's appearances?"  
"Well I probably couldn't give you an elephant's trunk, but I could change your hair colour or something. It's more difficult on other people."  
Ginny giggled mischievously, her relation to the twins become even more apparent as a wicked grin broke across her features "Could you swap somebody's hair for someone else's?" Tonks eyed the young girl carefully "I could … what exactly do you have in mind?" Ginny leaned over to her and whispered the plan into her ear. Tonks giggled and nodded, then stood up, with a hand on Hermione's shoulder for support.  
"Oh, by the way Fleur…" she said grabbing the younger woman's arm across the table. Fleur looked away from Bill for a moment to respond "Oui, what iz it?" Tonks screwed up her face in concentration, and in moment Hermione was sporting long blonde locks, whilst Fleur's sculptural face was surrounded by a mess of brown frizz. The room resounded with laughter as Fleur began to protest loudly and shrilly "What iz it? What 'as she done!? My 'air! What 'as she done to my 'air!?"  
Ron grinned at Hermione "Suits you" he said, laughing. Hermione gave him a dark look "You're comments are not necessary Ron."  
"I was complimenting you!"  
"You were mocking me under the guise of a compliment."  
He shrugged "Well there was a compliment in there somewhere." She rolled her eyes "Well if you've all finished laughing, I'd quite like my own hair back now, Tonks."  
"Prezicely! Nymphadora, give zee girl back 'er bird's nest!"  
"You're no fun." Grumbled Tonks, over Hermione's offended diatribe in defence of her 'bird's nest', but complied in returning them both to their original states.  
"Do someone else!" Ginny begged, and she was backed up by further calls for further appearance-swapping "Give Kingsley hair!" suggested Fred, and the idea was met with laughter and feverent agreement.  
"Right," said Remus to Molly who was sitting beside him "I'm going to find Sirius and lure him down with the promise of seeing Kingsley's new look."

Sirius was right where Remus had deposited him the last time he'd found him passed-out in the kitchen, it was almost as if he actually hadn't moved since. Except that there was a record spinning on the old muggle vinyl player in the corner of the room, spilling saxophone from two unadorned blocks of speakers that sat next to it where it was placed unceremoniously on the wood floor.  
"Doesn't that count as misuse of muggle artifacts, Padfoot?"  
"All I did was bewitch it work without electricity. That can't really be misuse can it?"  
Remus shrugged "It will be if the ministry thinks they can fine you for it." And Sirius snorted in amused agreement "Well I somehow doubt Arthur'll dob me in."  
"So are you going to come down, there's quite a party going on down there."  
"I've had that record player since I was fourteen."  
Remus didn't say anything, obviously Sirius was intent on a fit of rambling nostalgia, these were usually reserved for after a few shots of firewhisky, but sometimes just came up out of nowhere. And either way it was impossible to distract him once he got started.  
"Lily got one in third year, for a Christmas present, and she brought it to school and spent the rest of the year trying to charm it to work."  
"Yeah, I remember, and James spent the entire year trying to help her."  
Sirius could clearly remember thirteen-year-old James shocking them all by going to the library every single day until he finally found the charm for it. He remembered his friend looking up from over his book and telling them, quite seriously, that he was going to prove his love for her by making her 'music-box' work. He had managed it in the end, and she had given him a kiss on the cheek, not knowing that that one small action had sealed her fate.  
"And then I found this in an old junk shop."  
"What were you doing in a muggle junk shop?"  
"No idea. Out of curiosity I suppose. But I saw this, went straight to Gringotts to change my money for muggle pounds and bought it the very next day. And a record. That record."  
He pointed to one of the records that lay scattered across the floor; Remus picked his way through the mess of clothes and records to pick _Ella Fitzgerald: The Gershwin Songbook _off the floor.  
"Ah, of course, this one, I remember this."  
"Of course you do. The entire Gryffindor common room had to listen to it for almost four years straight."  
Lupin laughed. "Almost. Unless Lily actually managed to take control of her record player back for a second."  
"Well can you blame me for trying to take it off her? She played things with synthesizer in them!"  
"Padfoot you know I have no idea what synthesizer is don't you?"  
"You obviously didn't pay enough attention in muggle studies."  
"And you did?"  
"I didn't even take muggle studies."  
"Yes you did."  
"Well, I didn't _attend _muggle studies."  
Remus laughed, but Sirius only smiled slightly. Determined to snap Padfoot out of his melancholy, he sat back down on the bed next to him "Come back down with me. You have to."  
"Any particular reason?"  
"Yes. Tonks is going to give Kingsley hair."  
Sirius stared at him for a moment, before letting out his trademark barking laughter "Well, when you put it like that…"  
Remus gave him a hand up off the bed.

After giving Kingsley Shacklebolt long red locks (and making Charlie bald in the process), Tonks was searching for more inspiration, her eyes drifted across the collected faces and landed eventually on Harry. An idea sparked, she smiled.  
"Harry, come here." She said, the boy gave her an apprehensive look "I'm not entirely sure I should." he told her, but she laughed off his trepidation with a careless wave of her hand "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to do anything too horrific." She said, and Ginny backed her up with an elbow in Harry's side  
"Go on!"  
"Alright, alright! As long as I don't end up blonde or something."  
"I promise I won't make you blonde."  
Tonks reached across Ginny and laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, and the other on Ginny's, and concentrated. Both saw their vision suddenly blur, and heard laughter from the Weasley children, laughter that died in their mouths as one by one they saw the matching looks of shock on the faces of Kingsley, Molly and Arthur. Harry pulled of his glasses, and his vision cleared, he could see Molly staring at him aghast. He turned to Ginny to try and see what it was that had elicited such a reaction, and met confusion in green eyes. His eyes. His mother's eyes. The bright green eyes surrounded by Ginny's glamorous red curls recalled an image of an old photo, and a woman in a white wedding gown.  
"I'm sorry!" Tonks started to ramble "I didn't realize – I mean – I just thought – I didn't – I'm sorry!"

Just then, the door burst open and a cheerful Remus and Sirius had their laughter cut by the unexpected atmosphere of the room.  
"What just happened?"  
Harry turned towards his godfather, and Sirius froze, all breath suddenly trapped in his chest. His mind was twisting over itself in an effort to make sense of the information delivered of his sight, _James?_ But that was impossible. _Impossible. _Then the redhead next to him turned her eyes on him also. _Emerald eyes. _He staggered back as if he'd been punched in the stomach. He pushed past a stunned Remus and fled the room. Remus called after him, but he was already gone. The werewolf turned back to Tonks, who was returned his gaze wide-eyed in distraught confusion.  
"I-I-I just didn't think-" she started again, but he cut her off bitingly "That's just your problem Nymphadora, you never fucking think!"  
The tears that had been welling in her bright eyes burst through onto her cheeks, and Remus realized a second too late what he'd just said "Wait! Tonks!" he called after her, but she had swept her jacket around her small and shuddering shoulders and was running out the door "Tonks! I didn't mean to-" the rest of his words were cut off by the slamming front door and the wailing of the portrait that followed it. He pulled the heavy oak open again and followed her into the dark London streets. Mrs. Black was the only one to pass comment on their sudden exit _"That's right! Begone from my house vile mudblood! Begone bloodthirsty creature of the night!" _

No one said anything for a while. They simply sat and listened to the cackling and shrieking of the hall portrait, until Bill and the twins summoned enough courage to stand and leave the room. And once they successfully silence the portrait, a reverberating silence took hold of the house.

"Are the blood traitors not so tightly bound that they fight within themselves now, Kreacher wonders?"  
"Kreacher, go away." Hermione surprised them all out of their personal stasis by being the first to reprimand the elf. He hissed at her like a territorial cat "Kreacher does not take orders from mudbloods." He muttered, so Bill supported her cause "Kreacher, get the hell out of here."  
"Kreacher must do as the masters ask…" he said with far too much silk to his tone, and bowed out of the room. And everyone followed his format, retreating to different parts of the house one by one.

* * *

He held his hands tightly over his face as he lay, legs curved protectively inwards, on the bed, thin fingers rigid as if he had frozen while trying claw off his own skin. Once his mind had stopped racing, he'd recalled Tonks' party trick, and realized what she must have done. But somehow, knowing that it must have been Ginny he had been looking at didn't make the apparition any less potent, his mind was full of glowing green eyes and flowing red hair. _You should have forgotten her the moment she walked out that door. Instead what did you do, stupid fool? Basked in memories of red hair and bathed in your own misery. Ha! You didn't even know what despair was! You could have forgotten her then, but no, you kept her preserved beneath the rosy glass of idealized memory. Didn't you know it would drive you mad? And she's been dead for more then a damn decade, and you still can't get her out of you fucking head!_

A knock at his bedroom door startled him out of his thoughts. A girls voice called out his name.  
"Sirius? Are you okay?"  
He crawled off the bed and pulled his footsteps heavily to the door, cracking it open and peering through the slit. Those terrifying bright green eyes still gazed at him through Harry's borrowed glasses, in her hurry to leave Tonks had left Ginny and Harry with their phantom-like appearances. But he had been expecting it this time and so was able to act in a way that vaugly assimilated normality as long as he kept the mantra going in his head: _This is Ginny. This is Ginny. This is Ginny.  
_"What do you want?"  
Speaking to the apparition took enough effort, he saw no profit in trying to also be polite.  
"I – I just wanted to check that you were okay. And say sorry. It – it was my idea for Tonks to start swapping peoples appearances and – and I saw how much I scared you before. And – and I just wanted to say sorry."  
"It's okay Ginny, really, it's not your fault. It's just…"  
"Does it hurt? To see your old friends faces?"  
He gazed into those eyes, that pale face that looked so much like the woman he'd loved so secretly.  
"Yes."  
"I should go then."  
"Probably."  
He shut the door, desperate to shut out the apparition in his doorway. But he couldn't shut the memories out of his mind. Her sad face swam all around him.

"_Sirius. I'm not staying. I'm here to say goodbye."  
"You're going somewhere?"  
"I'm getting married, Sirius."  
"He finally convinced you then."  
"I'm sorry, Sirius. But we both knew this wasn't forever. I was always going to be with him in the end."  
"Yeah, I know. I was just seeing how long I could pretend it wasn't true."  
"You're not angry?"  
"My two best friends are getting married, who could be angry about that?"  
"Don't play games, Sirius."  
"Why not? That's the act I'm going to have to play to everyone else, why not to you as well?"  
"Since when have I been the same as everyone else, Sirius?"  
"Why do think you were ever anything more?"  
"Goodbye, Sirius."  
"I'll see you at the wedding Lily."  
She walked out the door. He shut it behind her. Then punched at the unyielding wood for as long as it took to make his knuckles run with blood. _

* * *

Ok ja, I know it's short, but hey, at least I updated right? Finally. I think I'm actually becoming _slower _at getting new chapters up. If that's actually possible. Anyway, review because you know you love me really! Or maybe you want to bawl me out for taking so goddamn long to update. -sweatdrop- Either way, clicky the button people! 


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